Her Name Was Ellie
by LyricsArePoetry
Summary: "Mum…" he began "Have you ever done the wrong thing for the right reason and then not had the chance to explain why and now there's no way to changing it and you've really let so one down?"


**Her Name Was Ellie  
>Mrs Langer's POV<strong>

"What happened out there?"

I didn't understand what had happened at all in the past day but I knew from past experience of strange events that I wouldn't get much of an answer regarding what had happened. For the most part I accepted when something out of the ordinary happened, I couldn't be much use regarding that. Regarding my son acting strangely, I could try and help with that. As his mother that was my job. I still couldn't explain why I had sent him out and made him stay away overnight, but he seemed to understand it. I wanted to question him about that, but I was sure it would never make sense. I hoped he understand that it wasn't a sign that I didn't love him because I did. When he was gone, I felt empty like there was a gap in my life because there was. I would never forgive myself for that, because I knew it was no excuse that I had no control over it.

Since returning though, something was clearly on his mind. He had been a lot quieter, he hadn't really said much at all. Every so often I would find him looking at a piece of paper with regret lined on his face. I hated seeing that on my baby boy and longed to understand and to help him.

"Not a lot," he shrugged non-committedly, without looking at me. He was sat on the sofa, clearly lost in thought. He answered my question as though it was some sort of automated message rather than him actually thinking and talking.

I sat down beside him and wrapped my arm around him. He looked at me momentarily as I did, normally he would've at least attempted a smile but he didn't and this worried me. I pulled him close to me and he lent against me. I had always been grateful to have a son like Clyde, someone who didn't think he was too old or too cool for a hug from his Mum. He was willing to accept that while he was growing up, he wasn't completely grown up quite yet. I was sure he would never be too old for a hug from Mum, I could only hope he agreed. For now though, I had to find out what was on his mind.

"Tell me about it?" I asked, gently, making it a suggestion rather than a demand. I didn't want to push him into anything in case it caused him to withdraw further.

"Mum…" he began, looking at me, then away again. He paused for a moment as if searching in his mind for the words to explain what he was thinking. "Have you ever done the wrong thing for the right reason and then not had the chance to explain why and now there's no way to changing it and you've really let so one down?"

I looked at my son sadly, nodding slightly. I knew more than enough about regrets but I knew he didn't need me to go into my regrets right now. "Who've you let down?"

Clyde dug into his picture and pulled up the piece of paper I'd caught him looking at many times. It was folded up and he unfolded it before passing it to me. It was a pencil sketch of a pretty, fair-haired girl around the same age as him. The portrait was amazing and made me admire Clyde's artistic skill once again.

"There was this girl," Clyde told me. "She was 17, Mum, like me and she had been on the streets for a couple of years. She hated it, she hated it so much but she had hope. She hoped to find a job and get a flat and just get herself off the streets."

I noticed the tears lining Clyde's eyes and stay quiet to give him the chance to speak.

"She looked after me, she remembered I had given her some money the day before but I hadn't remembered her. Something she said then, I think I'll always remember it, she said it's because people don't look and that's so true. People _don't _look. We're too busy living our lives that we don't really see what's right there around us. She was 15 when she was first on the streets because it didn't work out with her Mum's new husband, it's disgusting," Clyde explained, the pain of his words to clear in his voice. "But she wasn't bitter, she wasn't cold. She made sure I was all right and she stuck with me. And I told her…" he paused, his voice riddled with guilt when he continued, "I told her we'd get off the streets together and then I just left her."

"I get the feeling there more to it than that," I told him. There was no way I could believe he would make a promise and then just walk away without a good reason.

"Everything got put back together. The curse got fixed and I know this doesn't make sense and I can't explain that, but she went to get a coffee and Sarah Jane, Sky and Rani came and I had to go. I had to help with something and it had to be done then. I tried calling for her but she didn't hear me," Clyde continued to explain.

"I went back," he was quick to add and it was obvious he felt the need to justify his action. "I was always going back. I would never have just left a mate like that, never. But when I went back it was too later."

"What do you mean 'too late'?" I asked.

Clyde swallowed and I hugged him tighter to me as he took a shakey breath and continued, "She had said about the 'night dragon', she was scared of it but she didn't know what it was. She said sometimes people just disappeared and all that would be said was 'the night dragon took them'. I think she thought they were killed or something, at least that's what I thought when she told me but it wasn't. I was…"

"What was it?" I prompted when Clyde paused.

Clyde laughed, just slightly, it was a bitter sound, there was no humour, only sadness in it, "It was a lorry, sometimes they would give people a lift. Abroad. A chance for a new start somewhere else, I guess. The night dragon took her, and she could be anywhere now. And… and…"

Clyde broke off as his tears finally found their way out. I moved him slightly so I could hug him properly, pulling him close to me. He wrapped his arms around me in return, "I love you, Mum," he told me through his tears.

"I know, Clyde, I know, I love you too," I told him, momentarily shocked at the tears in my own eyes. The idea of my baby on the streets for one night, I couldn't begin to comprehend how a Mother could let her daughter stay on the street for years and not bring her home.

"She must think I'm just like everyone else, that I was just using her or that I got my life back and didn't care about her anymore," Clyde said quietly a few moments later when he'd stopped his tears.

"Maybe she'll figure that you had to do something important," I suggested a little helplessly. Clyde's expression was disbelieving and I couldn't blame him. "Look at this way, maybe she'll get the fresh start she needs wherever she ends up."

"I hope so…" Clyde's voice was almost a whisper now.

"I know how it may look and how you feel, Clyde, but believe me, you've done nothing wrong. Maybe she'll understand, maybe she won't, we may never know but you haven't done anything wrong, I can promise you that."

"It feels like it," Clyde disagreed.

"I know but you haven't," I insisted, "Why don't you tell me about her?"

"Her name was Ellie…" Clyde began.

**The Curse of Clyde Langer was one of those episodes that just hit me and I completely fell in love with. It tends to not happen that often, it happened with 'Dalek' in Doctor Who series 1, and 'Immortal Sins' in Torchwood: Miracle Day. I think the Curse of Clyde Langer was the best Sarah Jane Adventures episode there's been and it's only the second to inspire a fanfic from me. You didn't need to know this but hey ho :P R&R?**


End file.
